Aug. 4th, 2014

ohyes_that_girl: (Ani Difranco)
More detail than my very vague post from last time. I just couldn't go into more detail at the time as I was still newly processing everything.

My mom has had migraines since she was in elementary school. She remembers being in 5th grade and going home because her migraines were so intense and they have continued to be intense her entire life. A couple of years ago she fell on some ice and landed on her head as well. And within the past year, since she fell, she's been having "episodes" (she wouldn't go into detail what that meant) so she finally had an MRI done. They have found a brain aneurysm, the size of a nut, in her right cortex. Her neurologist says she thinks my mom needs brain surgery because of how bad her symptoms have become within just the past year. However, she doesn't actually go to see a brain surgeon for another week and a half or so. They have scheduled the appointment for one an hour away instead of in town and they've already sent the new patient paperwork. If she does not have surgery she has been told that she has a very high chance of having a stroke.

I'm not sure what TYPE of aneurysm it is-- and that has me a little worried. Mostly because some aneurysms can be hereditary and since my son has a history of unexplained (infant) seizures already, this kinda scares the crap out of me. I've already mentioned this to his PCP and she informed me to find out the type and then she said and she would "do the rest of the work" and possibly "make a plan of action". And IF it is the hereditary type, maybe I should get check out at some point? I mean, I do have migraines occasionally but I'm not really that worried about myself as much as I am my son who has had seizures.

Hopefully it's not the hereditary type and hopefully it's the type that doesn't even need surgery. She hasn't heard directly from the surgeon if she'll need surgery yet, or if it just needs to be closely monitored or medicated. So, there is that. But the neurologist herself said SHE thought it did need surgery.

Also, I'm an only child. IF something horrific happens, I'm in charge of her. Her 82 year old father certainly won't be much help and her only brother in town is dealing with a 21 year old autistic child living at home and another child that attempted suicide (by trying to jump off of a bridge and had to be coxed down) and an extremely rocky marriage to boot; his hands are full and then some. Her sister is in town but she had five kids herself (mostly grown but I think she had two living with her). She's in Indiana. I'm in Texas. I need to move her down, even if that means she lives us, though I'm not sure how we would swing that. She's not even in her 60s yet but has always acted much, much older. She also has asthma (daily medication), IBS (daily medication), insomnia (nightly medication that should be able to put out a horse), severe depression (medicated, thank god. She was suicidal recently) and Fibromyalgia (also daily medication). Having to deal with her daily issues on top of my household would be a hell of a lot of stress. BUT WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO.

Not to mention our relationship is turbulent at best. We've gotten a little better recently... but we see each other maybe once a year. We have recently started to Skype and the kids have really gotten a kick out of that experience. I love her and she's my mom; I'll do what I have to do to make sure she's taken care of--I haven't worked that out financially yet but I know there are things I still need to research on that front.

Even IF everything turns out 100% OK-- eventually we have to have a plan to get her to Texas. Out of all my parents and my husband's parents, she's the one that we're going to be in charge of as she ages; it's just a fact.

I'm stressed.

Also, my husband's company officially switched companies on the 1st of the month. So he just learned that he will from here on out get paid on the 7th and the 22nd. We live pay check to pay check and rent is due, the latest, on the 3rd. I'm not sure how we're going to swing this every month. I just don't know.

Julian's behavior has been so atrocious this summer. Violent to the point of not wanting to leave the house unless I know for a fact we will be with friends who understand his limitations with over-stimulation.

I'm so stressed.

But one of my best friend's is moving back from Washington to Austin, so there is that-- that's great news, so that is cool.


My head hurts. More coffee. Everyone has been talking about the Outlander series so I just bought the first two books in the series (my husband sold some books on ebay so he had money in paypal so there ya go. Book money!)-- hopefully it's an awesome series. I need to get lost in some books, man. For sure.

Debby downer is done ;)

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